SONNET XCI - VETERAN

I made it home when war came to an end
Too many others never reached that goal
I should be grateful but some wounds don't mend
that whole experience destroyed my soul
They taught us from our youth, "Thou shalt not kill!"
that heaven's gate is barred if you're unkind
Are soldier's souls absolved of blood they spill
when all humanity was left behind?
The war has made me what I am today
a hollow shell who's lost in hell because
inside I'm just another KIA
Those battles slew the human who I was 
   You honour me, but at so high a cost
   I'd trade it all for innocence I lost