SONNET LXXXV - SCREAMING

We're yanked into this life, a screaming soul
and sent into the world to vainly roam
in search of something real to fill the hole
of everything we crave from our first home
For in the end the greatest shed a tear
That even the whole world was won in vain
There's no fulfillment in our deeds down here
This world's full of emptiness and pain
But search within for what you truly lost
The peace you left behind when you arrived
When into life your screaming soul was tossed
What freedom your new spirit was deprived
   We have but one short life to truly learn
   That living isn't something you must earn

SONNET LXXXIV - RICH MAN

When judgement of your earthly life begins
apologies for all that you have done
are moot to answer for your many sins
for all that guilt was spilt upon the Son
He will not ask if you were rich or poor
nor does He prize the size of your estate
He'll ask you who you gathered that wealth for
when you stand at that shining golden gate
Your countless sins won't stop you getting through
It's not your lust or lies he will attack
He gave up everything he had for you
He only cares how much you've given back
   a selfish heart has far too high a cost
   a life lived just for you is truly lost

SONNET LXXXIII - ONE SMALL HOPE

As evil men tear this whole world down
Who's left to raise a lone defiant fist?
We're overwhelmed, and feel like we'll drown
Who's got the strength to rise up and resist?
This life is hard enough without their schemes
But if we quit, we let the darkness win
We cannot let their evil kill our dreams
We must find strength, but where do we begin?
We look into our children's shining eyes
and in the dark, we see a spark of light
Then soon that glow turns into full sunrise
and it renews our strength to stand and fight
   With faith and love, we'll find a way to cope
   We've only got to hold our one small hope

LACEY

She was born with a broken heart
but loved more than our whole hearts
could imagine

despite everything life threw at her
and took away from her
She held onto love
She cared for people
even when it hurt

as heroes do 

that’s all God asks of any of us
She did that
and so much more
She will stand before Him
unashamed

shame on us, if we don’t Love
half as much as she did
with our whole hearts
when our darkest times
aren’t half what she endured

if you want to get to heaven
you have to be heaven
to hurting souls

as heroes do

pray for trials
and staggering struggles
and horribly hard times
and when they hit
Love with all your heart

only then you can stand beside her
and wear the same beautiful crown
when you see her again

SONNET LXXXII - MIRACLE

I'll never find a lover strong and brave
enough to try to warm a heart so cold
or save a life that no one dared to save
and hold a hand that no one cared to hold
Whose sweet caress could ever make me whole
when love and I have been so long apart?
The Lord above might save my broken soul
but who can resurrect my murdered heart?
That miracle could only happen when
somebody can revive cremated trust
it may come true, but I'll be dead by then
and this old flesh has joined my dreams in dust
   But if my wish for love is not to be
   why did God put such hope inside of me?

SONNET LXXXI - UNCLAIMED

The constant care she shows makes her soul shine
She blesses lives with her own special touch
She shows how friendship and true love combine
In one sweet soul that we cherish so much
This little piece of heaven we have found
Inside her heart where she holds us so dear
There we'll remain forever safe and sound
What's there to fear with this sweet angel near?
Yet somehow this great heart remains unclaimed
Is every man so foolish and so blind?
For when her deepest passions are enflamed
True love, for him, will truly be defined
   Insanity! With all that beauty shown
   How can it be that she remains alone?

SONNET LXXX - ONE LAST MILE

the odyssey of life is filled with pain
and hurts more deep than we have ever known
escape one woe, and one more strikes again
when sorrows come, they never come alone
we've battled storms beyond our heart's control
and if we stop to rest, we're overwhelmed
the weariness steals strength right from your soul
yet somehow this lost ship sails on unhelmed
but you were there each moment of this ride
and somehow, you have made the darkness fun
through all this hell, you never left my side
it makes me sad the journey's nearly done
   we've only got to make it one last mile
   renew my strength with one more pretty smile

THE BEAUTIES

 you can love the sun, the moon, the stars the sunsets, and the diamonds in the dew with all your heart

but you will never hold them

that's okay
they're beautiful either way
because maybe you're not supposed to own
the things you love

maybe that's why they're so beautiful
because they're free
their beauty belongs to everybody
and nobody

SONNET LXXIX - DISTRACTION

another day is done, and here I lie
alone in bed, as darkness steals in
it's one day closer to the day I die
when Fate's sharp shears snip through my thread so thin
sweet sleep, my only comfort and escape,
that blackest void of bliss, will soon descend
and give that distant nightmare clearer shape
as I turn one page closer to The End
but if I had your loving form to hold
and felt your body's sensual caress
your warmth would shield from the creeping cold
and somehow looming death would matter less
   though it may be a wishful fantasy
   it's real enough to soothe this misery

SONNET LXXVIII - THE RIFT

our God created you for me to love
and He formed me to make your beauty glow
we fit together snugly as a glove
perfection only we could ever know
how savagely I ravish your sweet mind
with pretty words that feed your heart such bliss
this depth of love that cannot be defined
grows deeper still with each poetic kiss
but if you'd be love's helpless little slave
the master of your soul makes this demand
give me the greatest ecstasy I crave
and let me finally hold your pretty hand
   one kiss would close the world's widest rift
   if I could claim this girl's sweetest gift

SONNET LXXVII - PHILOSOPHY

So many souls are lost in endless search
and have been since their days of early youth
Just like a bird without a place to perch
they fly exhausting quests to find the truth
The doctors say you're set if you've got health
and scholars love the light that knowledge brings
The rich man finds contentment in his wealth
but all of that's just complicating things
Life's meaning isn't deep and far away
You'll never find your purpose here unless
you do the things that bring you joy each day
The simple truth comes down to happiness
   That's why I joy in all the things I do
   that make you fall in love with being you

SONNET LXXVI - THE QUEEN

she sits upon the throne of all my dreams
she enters and illuminates the night
when she descends, she slides in on moonbeams
as though her very soul were made of light
she blesses me with beautiful escape
for once again, sweet heaven has come down
a dream of perfect love has taken shape
and on her head, I place my soul's one crown
alas, the dawn brings harsh reality
my mouth is ripped away from true love's kiss
the sun comes up, and fantasies must flee
but through my tears, I must remember this:
   I'd rather yearn for love I'll never touch
   than let go of the dream I love so much

ONE MORE DAY

just give me one more day
O, Lord, please, God, I pray
don't make me go away

i'd go through any pain
again and again. and again
just, please, let me remain 

it's so hard to say goodbye
when there's still tears in their eyes
please don't let me die 

my babies need me near
i'll stay to calm their fears
i'll stay to dry their tears 

just let them hold my hand
until they understand
the things that I had planned 

the things I meant to say
it hurts, but let me stay
just give me one more day

   mama, it's okay
   you loved us every day
   your heart was always true
   there's nothing left to do
   you always did your best
   now it's your turn to rest
   you don't need one more day
   we're gonna be okay
   please don't feel sad
   go be with mom and dad

SONNET LXXV - TRAGEDY

so many nights I laid awake and cried
I sat around and waited for your call
as all the love inside me slowly died
and now I don't feel anything at all
you've proven true my deepest, darkest fear
and though I tried so hard to never see
the tragedy of you and I is clear:
you've better things to do than be with me
I finally gave my foolish head a shake
I saw a truth that I could not ignore
why beg for scraps of love and cold heartache?
why waste my tears when I deserve much more?
   and now you're cold and lonely in the night
   when all you had to do was treat me right

SONNET LXXIV - DEEPER

if my poetic words could penetrate
the way a lover's thrust brings ecstasy
they'd touch you with their comfort, warmth, and weight
and you would cling so breathlessly to me
my words would stir up such a pretty storm
each time you read a poem that I wrote
and all its sexy rhythms sent your form
to heaven with each deeply moving quote
alas, there's no such bridge for you and I
my magic words will never truly bind
your flesh to mine the way they catch your eye
my rhymes will only ever please your mind
   there's emptiness a lover might make whole
   but sonnets sink much deeper in your soul

SONNET LXXIII - THE PLAN

A lonely soul's a feather on the breeze One change of wind can alter your whole fate and sometimes Fortune's fancy disagrees that one should ever meet their soul's true mate How we got here remains a mystery The tangled journey somehow wove us through Our threads entwined within life's tapestry and here I am this chilly night with you While other lonely souls remain adrift still reaching out to grasp a passing hand I'm here with you, my life's most precious gift and trusting in whatever God has planned A touch of skin can warm you in the night But holding you gives life undying light

CONSOLATION

I hate how breathtaking the world is
with its snowy branches in a winter wonderland
laughing babies, sweet music
starry nights, warm blankets
puppy kisses, kind strangers
hot coffee, fine art
crackling fires, crashing waves
and a million other poetic joys
that only we could ever truly see

the world just continues
obstinately, obliviously beautiful

as if you're not even gone

GRAY

I wrote a lot of poems
thoughts captured in time
pulled from my soul
and given voice, and life

they make the world more beautiful

but a daughter is poetry
that writes itself
they find their own soul
and voice, and life

they make the world more beautiful

all you have to do
is get them started
leading the way
being you

BOATS

two gracefully drifting lines of boats

sailing along, cross an ocean at night

between two cities they brave the flight

through ominous dark each stream progressed

the sky was black, devoid of gods

each kept his lantern shining bright
they found their way by each other's light

and thus they all got home to rest

EVERYTHING IS A MIRACLE

I planted some flowers today, because everything is a miracle.

Babies are a miracle.

Healing from heartbreak and loss is a miracle.

Recovering from illness or addiction is a miracle. 

People turning their lives around and making things right again is definitely a miracle.

Overcoming flaws and growing as a person is a miracle.

Reaching your life’s goals is also a miracle. 

Seeing your dreams come true is a miracle.

Life itself is a miracle. Simply being here for the short little time we have requires countless unseen miracles that God takes care of every single day. 

And flowers are a miracle. 

I planted some flowers today. For now, there's only dirt. But I hope when they bloom and stand tall in the sunshine, my heart will have learned a lesson as beautiful as they are: that everything is a miracle, but miracles take time. Nothing is instant, overnight, or automatic. Miracles take time, hard work, and most of all, patience and love.

SONNET LXXII - HEART ATTACK

she walked right out the door and disappeared
the way she'd done a thousand times before
and sure enough, exactly as i feared
my heart just couldn't take it anymore
the sirens raced me through a scary ride
but my old soul was wounded worse because
she didn't rush to be there by my side
when she was told exactly where i was
i guess all vows of love have now decayed
she hasn't even tried to text or call
through all the times my trust has been betrayed
this heart attack has hurt me most of all
  she doesn't care if i live or i die
  i guess it's finally time to say goodbye

SONNET LXXI - BROKEN

You swore you'd never break my heart again
you vowed to God you'd stay here by my side
not even three days passed us by and then
you vanished and your vows to heaven died
But no one's perfect, so I forgave you
a thousand times, and every time you failed
you turned around and stabbed my poor heart through
and in the end, True Love has not prevailed
Perhaps the Lord above can understand
why you'd abuse a heart that loves you so
but this is not the life that I had planned
so I am forced to finally let you go
  I used to pray you'd come back home to me
  But now I need the strength to set you free

SONNET LXX - SECOND CHOICE

A child needs the love and care of mom
But sometimes monsters rank a little more
and though it seemed the choice was really dumb
She always let him walk back in the door
And later on when my heart tried to love
I'd bare my soul and lay down all my trust
But someone else was always placed above
and my poor soul was trampled into dust
Now once again, this brutal game's replayed
I know exactly how it's gonna end
I'll be replaced, abandoned, and betrayed
But for a while, at least I can pretend
  I'm second choice since I was but a youth
  But still my heart won't face that bitter truth

SONNET LXIX - RECIPROCITY

Though this configuration might look strange
it satisfies all needs we lovers lack
as we enjoy the prettiest exchange
in giving and receiving love right back
This mutual affection that we share
is everything that love's supposed to be
No other ecstasy can quite compare
It's perfect in its reciprocity
But you make it so tough to focus on
the happy bliss I'm trying to return
With every move you make, my mind is gone
your lovely gifts I'll never fully earn
  Infinite pleasures loop round this sweet kiss
  If only all of life were pure as this

SONNET LXVIII - BLASPHEMY

My heart is broken and I'm so confused
I cried out to the Lord in tearful prayer
Please answer me, O God! But he refused
It's almost like He doesn't really care
A puppy lost who gives the slightest yelp
is quickly saved and given full reward
but when I need a little bit of help
my desperate cries are totally ignored
And yet if I commit the slightest crime
if outside of His will I slightly stray
I'm damned to burn in hell for all of time
this absentee Father, I must obey
  I might as well just pray to a brick wall
  At least it won't condemn me when I fall